![Existential Despair, Heartbreak, and Fireworks: The Emotional Arson Of The New York Times [Altarcations]](http://newstion.com/wp-content/themes/magazine-basic/thumb.php?src=http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2009/07/muppetsn_l.jpg&h=80&w=80&zc=1&q=80)
That’s not Frank Oz’s hand up Phyllis Nefler’s ass; it’s a stick called the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Sunday NYT. Today, she realizes the evil, dark magic contained within them. Presenting your July 4th Weekend edition of Altarcations:
What a glorious 4th of July! The sun was out, the grill was hot, and...
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Lindsay Lohan celebrated her actual birthday Thursday by going out to lunch with Samantha Ronson which makes absolutely no fucking sense to me. Granted, Sam’s no looker, I still don’t get what she’s doing with Lindsay who, let’s face… …read full story
The Superficial – Because You’re Ugly
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Well, it finally happened. Megan Fox and Zac Efron were spotted on a date Tuesday night which means either Vanessa Hudgens is going to kill somebody or give Shia LaBeouf the hairiest chipmunk fuck of his life. It’s a… …read full story
The Superficial – Because You’re Ugly
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![Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants Via Craigslist [Citizen Journalism]](http://newstion.com/wp-content/themes/magazine-basic/thumb.php?src=http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2009/07/censored.jpg&h=80&w=80&zc=1&q=80)
The subway does the strangest thing to people. For example, sometimes, the penises of men will escape their pants! This is a strange phenomenon that's only well-documented in retrospect. Until now. Uncensored flasher action, after the jump. Someone decided to document said phenomenon on Craigslist for us! The poster in question is clearly a...
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![A Context-Free, Comment-Free Review Of Contemporary Art, With Suggestions [I Can Haz Masturpeesuz]](http://newstion.com/wp-content/themes/magazine-basic/thumb.php?src=http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2009/07/new-museum-e5a496e8a6b3-e381aee382b3e38394e383bc_01.jpg&h=80&w=80&zc=1&q=80)
Things I Did On My July 4th Vacation: hit up The New Museum's Younger Than Jesus exhibition. It's a contemporary art exhibit showcasing only artists born after 1976. It ends today. Here is what I saw, presented without comment. An apocalyptic, borderline Mad Max sculpture by two guys who go by AIDS-3D. The center...
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![Can Harry Potter’s Magic Cure John Edwards’ PR Issues Or His Co-Star’s Swine Flu? [Gossip Roundup]](http://newstion.com/wp-content/themes/magazine-basic/thumb.php?src=http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2009/07/John-Edwards-President.jpg&h=80&w=80&zc=1&q=80)
Former John Edwards campaign insider Andrew Young won't STFU. Karl Lagerfeld was told to STFU by Heidi Klum's people. Courtney Love trashed a hotel room. Harry Potter cast members got Swine Flu! Presenting your firework-cinged post July 4th Gossip Roundup! Andrew Young is testifying in front of a grand jury as to whether or...
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Lindsay Lohan celebrated her actual birthday Thursday by going out to lunch with Samantha Ronson which makes absolutely no fucking sense to me. Granted, Sam's no looker, I still don't get what she's doing with Lindsay who, let's face... ...read full story
Read more »
Well, it finally happened. Megan Fox and Zac Efron were spotted on a date Tuesday night which means either Vanessa Hudgens is going to kill somebody or give Shia LaBeouf the hairiest chipmunk fuck of his life. It's a... ...read full story
Read more »
